Draft These Nuts.

WWE can suck it so hard, details forthcoming.

Santino Marella: 1 Second In The Ring, A Lifetime In My Heart.

Initial Rumble thoughts:

Randy Orton was pretty much guaranteed to win this one from the start thanks to the monumental events of Raw. Sadly there wasn't much suspense this year, other than 'THE WHOLE F'N SHOW' ROB VAN DAM:


He got a pretty huge pop, and the crowd was seriously pissed off when he got knocked out...and once again, Rey proves why he is such a beloved wrestler. Dude lasted something like 40 minutes, at the #1 spot. The Legacy/HHH ending could have gone on a bit longer, but it served it's purpose. Undertaker was a non factor...disappointing to say the least.

The undercard was meh. Other than Taker showing up out of nowhere to stare down HBK, and Jeff Hardy trying to win the 2009 Darwin Award with his physics lesson, it lacked any 'oh shit' moments.

Like I said, not a very thrilling Royal Rumble, but still was very entertaining. 3/5

All I Need Is One Punt.

Tonight's Raw, specifically Vince McMahon, have finally made this blog worth doing.

Orton <3

Unforgiven...Unintelligible?

So HBK destroys Jericho in their "unsanctioned" match. Jericho somehow replaces CM Punk in the Scramble, and leaves the PPV Champion. 

Where the fuck was Punk is what I am wondering. He never got any respect as champ, and now he lost his title without even WRESTLING.

WWE better clean this mess up in a believable fashion, or else.

On the bright side, Y2J is champ. But jesus, what a trainwreck. 

raw thoughts

Sorry for the late update, but I was home in MD for a day and shit was crazy. Not like it really matters anyway, seeing as Raw was shit-tastic this week.

random thoughts:

Why keep the belt on CM Punk if he is never allowed to win 100% clean, and without outside influence? Clearly people like this kid, and yes he is a bit undersized, but seriously WWE. Don't ruin one of your ONLY bright spots on this show. Instead of pushing young talent, which is the SMART move, we get Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

jesus christ

John Cena is apparently out for quite some time with a herniated disc in his back. I was talking with Matt and we both came to a consensus that they HAVE to bring someone big over to Raw. Edge just left, and HHH isn't going anywhere. Who does this leave? Undertaker? Yawn. If that's the case, we have another 8 months of Kane/UT, Batista/UT snorefests. Awesome.

Maybe the one positive aspect in this mess is HBK/Y2J. Jericho is playing the ruthless heel absolutely brilliantly. Just when I thought he wasn't capable of developing any more as a performer, he turns the evil way up. HBK's whole "eye for an eye" comment was over the top and so awesome. HBK is REALLY hamming it up for the PPV. But come one, EVERYONE is dying to see the bloodbath that will ensue.

It's quite simple how to make this a better show:
-Get rid of Adamle
-Bring back Vince. Now.
-Keep Y2J in the front. Make him the monster heel that can carry the show on his own.
-MORE WRESTLING.
-More CM Punk
-Less women's matches
-Let Kofi Kingston talk!

I miss the good old days:



on a side note, Jake Roberts has an incredibly thorough and analytical raw report/blog. It's intricate and descriptive and really gives priceless insight to the gears and levers that make this whole style of entertainment work. Highly reccomended:

RAW Review: Aug. 25, 2008

obligatory first post

After weeks of slothfulness and prodding by my friend Matt, the wrestling blog has arrived. While this is clearly a blog for friends, I hope others stumble across it and deem it worthy. I won't be doing much of a play-by-play report of shows, since the internet is clogged with terrible reviews, and I would hate to add my voice to the utter clusterfuck that is already present. Instead I hope to offer insight from someone who has been watching professional wrestling for close to 20 years, and can appreciate it as an entertaining story-telling medium.

That being said, I will start off with some background information:

-I have recently started to watch WWE again after a hiatus of around 6 years. The last time I watched on the regular, was towards the tail-end of the horribly, horribly botched "Invasion" angle. How Vince could have ruined this, is still beyond me.

where was freddie prinze jr. when you needed him?

-Immediately upon returning to the fold, I have come to the conclusion that while WWE is recovering nicely from half a decade of utter mediocrity, they still lack the concrete pop-culture cross-section superstar that defined the "attitude" era. Sure, there is still the Undertaker, but honestly it seems like no one gives a shit about anyone anymore. John Cena gets a decent pop, but it's light years away from what Rock/Austin/DX got in their prime.

greener pastures...?

To be continued...